Infidelity is one of the leading causes of divorce in America, and involves a painful betrayal of trust and one’s marriage vows. But not all affairs end in divorce. Many couples have been able to repair their relationship and find healing after infidelity.
Recently on The Joe Sikorra Show, an anonymous listener called in to share her story of having an affair, and how her marriage was able to survive it. She said:
“I had an affair during a military deployment. I wanted emotional intimacy and connection with somebody, during a time that was very stressful and lonely. … It was eventually found out, and there was a very troubled and chaotic period following that. I’m very blessed because my husband did see it through, we did get help, and the marriage has recovered. But it’s probably not fully recovered, and it has taken many years. Every year gets better, but it’s a slow process.”
On how they repaired their relationship and found healing…
“Through our faith. That’s the pure and simple answer. He went to a priest and he received very good advice from that priest regarding forgiveness, regarding how to move forward. We took advantage of opportunities at our church for marriage encounter, and that sort of thing, to reestablish those ties. And then, on my part, it was through the Sacrament of Reconciliation and having to confess the multiple levels of my betrayal. It’s not just one act, because there are layers to it, and as I discovered each layer I went to Confession and received healing from that. Our faith was the #1 aspect.”
Her words of advice to others who are stressed, lonely, unhappy in their marriage, or otherwise vulnerable to an affair…
“It’s not worth it do indulge that desire. It’s a very temporary solution, which causes many long-term and greater problems than what you’re going through right now. But the other thing is that I think a lot of times affairs will happen during a period of dryness in a relationship, and really the dryness periods are opportunities for a relationship to grow stronger. Because it’s not just based on feelings of consolation and attraction to each other, those roots are growing deeper through the periods of dryness.
Just at the moment when you have the opportunity to grow your relationship to the next level, if you give in to an affair you’re actually going to destroy some of those roots, so it’s just not worth it.”
Listen to the full conversation below:
The Joe Sikorra Show airs weekdays from 5:00 – 7:00 a.m. Pacific.